It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
