I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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