He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
