nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize