pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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