we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
