I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
