i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
