Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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