No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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