I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
