Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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