If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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