did you get engaged???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
