I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
