there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
