Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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