And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
