To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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