Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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