Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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