So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
