Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
