I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just cropdusted the office
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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