no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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