I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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