Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
