The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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