help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
