Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My penis needs a shock collar
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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