If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
