Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
