At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
