if only i could text you this smell
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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