Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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