used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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