great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
