it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
