Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
