even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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