All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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