i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
