Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
