Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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