Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
