According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
