If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
