bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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