Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
