I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
