Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My pussy is not your playground.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
