I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
