Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need a beard to bite.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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