I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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