The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
