i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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