He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
