If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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