She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
