dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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