Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
