I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
