this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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