Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
