I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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