Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
